im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
