Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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