Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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