Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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