You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
