I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Randomize
