If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
