last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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