I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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