you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
