i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
