And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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