She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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