I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
