I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
