I cannot find my penis.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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