I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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