SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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