Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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