I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Sponge bath it is.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Oh god it's open bar.
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