I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
