The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Just puked most of my soul out..
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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