But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
