i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
