U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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