11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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