Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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