Fuck appropriateness.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Randomize
