I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
