Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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