I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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