and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
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Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
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i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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