remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
