Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i think my mom watched the whole time
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Randomize
