he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize