Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
