Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
