A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
