Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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