help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
