Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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