porn star boner night. come get it.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
