How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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