I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
