my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
