he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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