I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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