Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
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