I queefed so loud it echoed.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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