Have you finally orgasmed yet?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
