can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Randomize
