Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
