i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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