Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
