I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
