Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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