he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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