Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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