Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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