no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
