At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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