before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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