READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
There was a lot of him and a little penis
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
