I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize
