Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
