Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
