i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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